Boy, I WISH I felt like this year were going better!
I have this horrible mess at work where people
on two different sides of a project are both angry, one because the
project hasn't gone well, one because he was the one who was supposed to
do the project and he doesn't get why people aren't happy with what he's
produced (because as of this point, the project - a web application
that's supposed to link maps to water quality testing results - doesn't
WORK, dude). And I'm ultimately responsible for the project to our
funder and have to turn in the final report on January 17. I feel like
the bad manager on The Apprentice who's about to get fired because she
didn't manage better. OK, I'm probably not going to actually lose my
job. But this is turning into an embarrassing debacle.
Then there's the whole who-knows-when-we'll-get-the-baby thing. The
two-year wait (that's from the log-in date, which was September 26 for
us) is what people are projecting based on current trends, because the
Chinese are taking longer and longer and longer to process each month's
worth of dossiers (a few real pessimists are even saying three years).
The Chinese are saying that it's because the number of applications went
way up in 2006, which is why they came up with all the new restrictions.
The frustrating thing is that there are still thousands and thousands of
abandoned girls in China who are not getting homes, because only a
fraction of the Chinese orphanages are open to international adoption
(and domestic adoption is only now getting off the ground). You'd think
the thing to do would be to open up more orphanages, but the speculation
is that that would cost money and it's way cheaper for the Chinese to
just place severe limitations on who can adopt. Anyway, where I had felt
for sure like we were getting a baby in 2007, now I'm feeling like who
knows when or if. Bob is really fretting about being too old by the time
we'd get one.
Add to that my stress over Laurel's surgery next week, and I'm just
thinking, well, I hope this year is like what they say about March, in
like a lion, out like a lamb... 
Sigh - if
I enter our log-in date on this website it
predicts we won't get our referral until December 2008. Of course, as it
says, it's a guess based on trends, but still. By the time we would get
the baby it would be just about three years since we first submitted our
application last February... 
Here's the website, for the curious: http://chinaadoptionforecast.com/
Long morning at the
Children's Rehab Center and the main hospital...we
thought that we were just going to be at the rehab center for a short
pre-operation visit, but by the time Laurel's hip was x-rayed, we waited
and waited and waited for the doctor to show up, we waited around some
more while forms were filled out, we got sent over to the main hospital
to pre-admissions to wait and wait to talk to someone who went over the
forms that were filled out at the rehab center, and Laurel had her blood
drawn, it was over three hours. Bob still took Laurel to school
afterward, because we'd promised her (silly us, we'd figured she'd be
there by 10:30 or so, not almost 1:00), not to mention that that's
easier for us because then she goes to the afterschool program, but our
embarrassment at showing up at 1:00 might have outweighed our
convenience if we hadn't figured that Laurel was looking forward to it
(she had a wonderful first day back at school yesterday). Laurel was
very patient at the rehab center (the first two hours) but lost it in
the waiting room at the hospital. She quieted down when Bob started
taking her for a walk around the waiting room, till she realized that
Bob wasn't taking her out the door. She quieted when we went back to
talk to the person who looked over the forms, until that person got up
to talk to someone - then Laurel started up a pretty much continuous
whine (all through the blood draw, too - I did have to give her bravery
credit for not crying during the blood draw, though, just keeping the
whine up) but the SECOND we passed over the threshold of the door to the
waiting room, the whining stopped, as if we'd thrown a switch. 
Anyway, we did learn a few things:
- Her hip still looks about the same
- We're currently scheduled to be at the hospital at 8 AM Monday
morning, but they will call us and let us know for sure on Sunday
- Surgery will probably start about 10:30; the surgery itself takes
about an hour and a half, but adding in anesthesia and casting, we're
probably looking at about 3 hours
- Laurel may be in the hospital as long as through Thursday morning
- The casts will only weigh about a pound apiece (we were worried that
it would be a lot more) and it IS (contrary to what our PT said) OK to
use the bar between them to help hold her
- The doctor felt confident that she would be able to go to school in
the casts (unlike his nurse - but folks at the school say they know of a
kid at another school in the system who was able to do it, too)
- Her left leg is going to be permanently about an inch shorter than her
right as a result of this surgery 
- The metal plate that they put in her leg will be removed in a year -
she will need to stay overnight for that surgery - not thrilled about
the prospect of another hospital stay, but kind of glad that she doesn't
wind up with any permanent metal in her body.
I think that about covers it. Just counting down now...
Time to finish getting ready to leave...I don't
expect to leave the hospital until sometime tomorrow, but Bob should be
able to update late this evening.
[Posted by Bob]
UPDATE
Thanks for everyone's thoughts today.
Laurel's surgery went well, but it will be a trying next couple of days.
Laurel was pretty good going into surgery. Rather tired (I don't think
she slept well last night) and when we got to the surgery prep room she
started to get pretty nervous, especially when the docs came in. She
went into the OR at about 10:20. Rochelle went with her until she was
asleep (via gas).
Our understanding was the the doc's part of the surgery was about 1.5
hours followed by 30 minutes of casting and an hour in recovery. The doc
said he'd talk to us after the surgery. We started to get a bit anxious
by noon. By 1 pm we were more than a little anxious. By 1:45 we were
climbing the walls. Finally, just before 2 the doc called to say it went
fine. I'm still not sure if the surgery went a bit longer than expected
or we just weren't hearing things right or what. She lost about 150 cc
of blood and didn't need a transfusion, so that was good. We elected to
go with an epidural for pain relief for the first day (the other option
was methadone) because it's more of a sure thing and because we were
told that healing was felt to be more robust when using an epidural. The
doc said that the post-op x-rays looked great. He removed less than
1/2" on the outer side of the femur (a bit more on the inside to
put a 20 degree angle in the femur), so that was less than he had
estimated last Thursday.
We got back to the recovery room at a bit after 3, I think, and she was
still sleepy. She's been really sleepy all afternoon, only waking a few
times. We got up to the room about 4 pm.
We're still a bit worried about her urine output (not very much yet) and
she's been awfully sleepy. Then, about 8:30, she threw up. Not much (her
stomach was nearly empty after all - more in a minute), but there was a
bit of pink in it so it was a bit concerning to us. The resident on call
didn't think it was worth worrying about. It did seem to wake her up. I
mostly think she's a bit nauseous still from the surgery and not having
had any food yet and her body is still trying to replace the lost blood
(she's been getting an IV all day, obviously).
Now, a small rant: Why can't this hospital ever get the start of
Laurel's meds and feeding right? We go through this every time. I even
brought the meds in last Thursday so that they could write down the
correct doses at the correct times. They've gotten the dose of one
wrong, they've completely gotten the times wrong (even after repeating
ourselves on that at every chance), and she was only getting some
calories in her right about the time I was leaving (they don't have that
formula available - good thing we brought ours). I suspect there's too
many people from point A to point B and then you have to deal with shift
changes and repeat yourself all over again. Grrrr.
That's the news.
Tomorrow is going to be the really difficult day. The epidural comes out
at dawn and then we guess how much pain meds she needs and hope we can
figure out when she's crying because of pain or because she wants to
leave, or be picked up, or can't move her legs, or whatever. Lets hope
it doesn't take too many iterations to get an appropriate level of pain
relief. The anesthesia doc said that because she's on so many seizure
meds, her liver may already be working over time and hence it may take a
higher dose than would otherwise be indicated by her weight. I think
once we get past tomorrow things should seem so much better.
Thanks for thinking of us. I'm taking tomorrow night's shift at the
hospital so Rochelle may check in tomorrow night.
I swear I am going to make this update brief...
OK, potato chips may grow wings first, but
dammit, I'm going to try! 
I am so tired I'm cross-eyed - I think I only got about 3 hours Sunday
night, and last night, although I laid down at 10:30 the nurse came in
EVERY hour, and then Laurel, who had been asleep pretty much all day,
woke up at 3. I may be not quite as tired as I've ever been, but
I'm darn close to it.
Anyway, I'd say overall that things went pretty well today. Laurel's
urine output was good overnight, so they removed the catheter this
morning, and shortly afterward, they took out the epidural. She did OK
but not great on Tylenol 3 - then the PT, who had come in to get her
into her wheelchair, made the wise observation that Laurel was having
muscle spasms that were undoubtedly hurting too, suggested some Valium,
and she did much better after that. Not surprisingly, with those in her
system plus the trauma of the surgery yesterday, she was still pretty
groggy, but she went to the combined preschool/kindergarten at the
hospital for about an hour this afternoon. She also perked up when a
friend came to visit us this evening. She seemed more like herself, only
tired, today. She was running a fever (100.7) earlier in the day,
but it seemed to be breaking before I left - I think it was also the PT
who said that that was a normal and even healthy reaction to major
surgery.
I'm thrilled to report that, contrary to what the orthopedist's
nurse had told us about her having to be strapped into some vest and lay
on her back or side in the car, there is a Britax model (the Hippo) car
seat that we can borrow from the hospital! Actually, I looked it up and
it looks like this seat was designed specifically for kids in these
sorts of casts (which I saw described as a "long-leg broomstick
cast") and related types and has just come out. So maybe we will be
a little more mobile than I was afraid of, although the difficulty of
transferring her could be a discouragement. I still wouldn't want to
take any long trips. She also looked comfier in the wheelchair than I'd
feared, although almost lost in the pillows! (It's an adult chair - they
don't make child-size chairs with leg extensions, I guess - so it needs
a lot of padding to work for her.)
I think that about covers the day. Probably doesn't qualify for brief,
though, does it? All righty then, at least you won't have to worry about
being buzzed by potato chips practicing aerial maneuvers...
Laurel is coming home this morning! They took
the IV out and said she was good to go! So this IS a really short
update, because I have to get my butt out of here and to the hospital to
get my girl! (I might have seen a potato chip attempting a few short
hops... 
)
[Posted by Bob]
It's
been another rough day. But I think we're learning
and tomorrow will be better.
First, she slept really well last night without us having to give any
pain meds in the middle of the night. And the transfer from the bed to
her wheelchair this morning was obviously much less painful than similar
moves yesterday.
But, she still hadn't pooped (not really since Saturday before the
surgery). She was pretty snoozy this morning (I got a lot of
straightening up done around the house) and then we moved her to the
floor with her back against a beanbag chair. Rochelle went to work at
11. By 12:30 or so it was obvious she was trying to poop and having a
LOT of pain and no success. Also, she hadn't peed. I called Rochelle
because I wasn't going to give Laurel a laxative by myself (too awkward
to position and insert the suppository for one person) and so she came
home. After an hour had gone by and still no output and still no pee all
day, we were getting concerned. She's also had a nasty juicy cough that
she's stifling because it hurts and her left leg seemed more swollen at
the top of the cast so we finally tracked down a number to call for
advice (short rant - the discharge orders from the hospital had NO phone
number to call if we had concerns, grrr). I now think a lot of her
problem has been not enough position changes and the lack of cushions on
the floor. They also okayed us trying a different laxative (Babylax)
we've had good luck with before and sure enough, that helped this time.
That also produced a LOT of pee.
Yippee. Laurel was resting comfortable again and was okay for about
another hour. Then more complaints. So, I tried rotating her to her
right side for a few minutes and it really seemed to help. Later I did
the same thing and it seemed to help a lot again - it also produced
another flood of pee. So, I think we're learning and I think we need to
move her more, especially when she's on the floor. I think that should
help the juicy lung cough problem. Her toes are still warm and pink so
I'm not too worried about the swelling above the cast.
She really didn't need any valium today except when she was most upset
before I tried moving her. And the pain meds can be given every 4-6
hours and we've been more on the 6 hour end today - so that's a good
sign.
It's just a slow healing process. When they are explaining positioning
in the hospital it's all pretty abstract and there's just two options -
the bed and the chair. I really wish there was some way they could
follow up with a home visit. I have a friend who's an OT that I've
e-mailed for advice.
So, that's today's update. Tomorrow will probably be a little better. It
would be nice to get her more off the pain meds because she's been
pretty sleepy when she isn't crying and I miss my little girl.
Thanks for thinking of us and reading this far.
I think we're on a slow trend upward...Laurel
has been in a fair amount of pain the last couple of mornings when she's
woken up, and we still seem to be hurting her sometimes when we do
transfers. But most of the rest of the time, her biggest problems are
gas and boredom. She is being remarkably patient about the whole thing!
Although I showed her a countdown calendar that I made showing how many
days it's been since she got the casts and how many days until the casts
come off, and I think it made her sad. But she is being such a trouper,
and we're really proud of her. 
Laurel's first day back to school yesterday went well. She
got tired and took a longer nap than usual (Laurel often does have to
take a nap at school - I think that with her sensory integration
problems, being in a big group of kids is really tiring for her), but
was in a good mood and except for diaper changes (which haven't always
been going smoothly for us either), everything went well. She only went
for school itself, not the afterschool program, and since she was so
tired yesterday we decided to do the same today. Hopefully soon her
stamina will be back up - in the meantime I'm glad that she was able to
make it back to school on schedule and with no real problems! 
A few other things I meant to mention...
1) Laurel was very anxious when she first went
to school yesterday! We stayed and talked with members of her
"team" about what we had been doing and observing at home and
the whole time, she kept up sort of a whine and wouldn't take her eyes
off me. But obviously, she did just fine after we left!
2) I made Laurel do homework for the first time in a while last night
(I've started to do it with her a couple of times in the last week, but
didn't push her when it was clear she wasn't into it). She did OK with
the first two thirds of it (I was asking her to push a series of buttons
[that you can record messages on] to say her full name), but then was
having trouble getting her hand to move to the third button and decided
that she'd rather whine. I told her at one point that she was wasting
far more energy whining than it would take to push that button and I
could so hear echoes of my mother telling me similar things. 
Finally, I decided to ignore her - and within a minute, she had pushed
the appropriate button - pretty sure that's what I would have done,
too...
3) This is the most amazing and strange thing, and as Bob says, we may
jinx it just by talking about it, but Laurel has not had a seizure since
the surgery! She had routinely been having a few partial seizures every
morning (we had decided it was better to live with a few seizures than
to drug her out of her little mind to get rid of them). But we haven't
seen any lately. Even if they come back, it raises some
interesting questions about them.
We are NOT off to a good start today...first off, Laurel slept terribly last night - up every hour, and then around 5, was screaming to the point that we decided to go with Tylenol 3, Valium, and keeping her home from school. Then when she was getting her tube feeding this morning, turned out the tube came out at some point and by the time Bob noticed, she was sitting in an absolute puddle of formula. Which has gone WAY up the inside of her casts. We've been going at it with assorted absorbent things and a blow dryer, but it's so far up in there, we're afraid we're not getting it all. Anyone have any suggestions? I'm really worried about the consequences if we can't get them dried out...
I talked to the doc's nurse and she said that there is nothing for it but to keep at it off and on with the blow dryer and with getting her up off the wet part (which is of course under her legs). They don't redo the casts.
Well, we're having a bad news/good news day...
Bad news: Laurel was up a LOT again last night, and especially, she
was coughing a lot. Way more than she has been (she's been coughing ever
since the surgery, which we were told was normal at first, but almost
two weeks later?). I got worried that the cough had turned into
something and wanted to take her to the doctor.
Good news: When we took her to the doctor, the doctor said her chest
sounded very clear and she must just have a cold. Not that I'm thrilled
that she has a cold, but definitely better news than, say, pneumonia.
Good news: Her casts seemed to have dried out as of this morning.
Bad news: She pulled the tube out and got one of them wet again.
Good news: Bob caught it a lot sooner and it wasn't anywhere near as wet
as before. It's dried already.
Good news: We had plans for a babysitter so we could go to a game night
at our church.
Bad news: The babysitter called off with the stomach flu.
Good news: We decided to go anyway, and take Laurel and her
switch-operated spinner and Hi-Ho Cherry-O game and see if we could
switch off with one of us playing adult games and one of us helping
Laurel play with the other kids (there were supposed to be kids' games
as well as adult games).
Bad news: Then Bob got the stomach flu.
Good news: He's feeling better already. Of course, Game Night ends in
three minutes!
Ah well, tomorrow's another day...
Poor Laurel! Now she is not only having a nasty cold, she seems to
have gotten the stomach bug as well - she had a horrible projectile
vomit that went everywhere about noon and we went from, "I
wonder how we're going to wash her hair?" to "We're going to
figure out how to wash her hair, NOW!" (We dropped the wheelchair
back down [this rental chair has an adjustable back], lined it with
towels and put a basin of warm water behind her. It worked pretty well -
of course, totally no fun for her, and my back is still spasming). It
just seems so not fair, that she should have casts AND a cold AND the
stomach flu! 
She's a lot better than she was yesterday - everything stayed down fine, and she's been way more alert and in a much better mood - but she has such a terrible cough that she'll probably end up staying home from school again tomorrow. sigh
Well, she WAS doing better...Wednesday and Thursday, she not only
went to school but even managed to stay for the afterschool program. But
she woke up at 4:45 AM coughing and didn't stop (despite cough medicine)
until we gave her some Benadryl at about 7:15. She's all gooey again,
and I think it was running down the back of her throat and making her
cough. She's passed out now, thank goodness. But it seems like we must
have gotten her back to school just long enough for her to catch
something else.
Laurel has a rather thick white coating on her tongue - I tried
looking it up on the web, but the main things I was coming up with were
dehydration (but she's been peeing normally) and yeast infections. Any
other ideas? Could she have it just because her mouth has been hanging
open so much (because of the cold)?
I don't normally brush her tongue because she has such a terrible gag reflex. But last night after I posted I did, and it looked a lot better. It hadn't changed this morning, so we went ahead and sent her to school, but we're going to keep a close eye on it because I can see where it could be thrush. She's not on any antibiotics or anything, but after reading up on it, I see that you can also get it when the body's been under a lot of stress or if your mouth is overly dry. Thanks for the input - I'll let you guys know if we wind up taking her to the doctor!
Bad news about Laurel's leg...
Yesterday, the school called and had Bob come pick Laurel up because
she was inconsolable. He called the nurse at the orthopedist's office,
and she said, "She's probably having muscle spasms, give her
Valium, and don't bring her in unless she's running a fever." Well,
we checked and checked and she wasn't...but unless we kept her doped up
on either Valium or Tylenol 3, she continued to be inconsolable. Well,
this wasn't right. We hadn't even been giving her any pain meds for the
last week or so. So, since the orthopedist's office didn't seem to want
to see her, and since she is also STILL having a really evil cough, we
decided to go to the pediatrician today. She gave us antibiotics for the
cough (she said she didn't think it was pneumonia, but our theory that
it's drainage from a sinus infection is plausible), but couldn't figure
out what the problem could be with the leg. She finally put it down to
"healing pain," but did put in a call to the orthopedist's
office. Naturally, even though we were at her office for two hours (!)
(one of those was spent just waiting for her to come back and get a
blood sample to make sure Laurel's white blood cell count was OK) the
orthopedist's office didn't catch up with us until just after we got
home and got Laurel's coat off. They said they'd be "glad" to
see her, so we turned around and dragged her in. They took an x-ray, and
when we saw the orthopedist, he said, "Well, it's obvious why she's
been in so much discomfort." It turns out her leg has fractured
right above where the metal plate is! The doc couldn't tell us why,
other than that it wasn't very good bone. They do not want her attending
school tomorrow, and first thing Friday, we have to take her back to the
hospital to have the leg recast. She is going to have to have a cast
that goes over her hip on the left side (although no cast at all on the
right), so that means that she will not be able to sit up for the next
three weeks. We are REALLY REALLY REALLY disappointed at the news,
although glad we persevered with the doctors...