OK, I'm pretty sure my last straw is around here somewhere...
Well, I knew my mom's death had to REALLY start hitting me sooner or later...turned out it was the car ride home. So we got home a bit after 11:00 tonight and I'd been crying my eyes out for a couple of hours. Checked my e-nail and there were 336 messages, including one to moderate (thank heavens this person was on moderation) a message to the Freecycle list naming names of people they thought posted too many wants and saying that they were lazy list hogs who were trying to get everything for free so that they didn't have to work. By the time I ripped that person a new one and dug through the other 335 messages in between putting Laurel to bed it was 1:00. I waited till 2:00 AM for Bob to finish his e-mail and come to bed, but when he came to bed and promptly got back up remembering another e-mail he needed to send, I gave up on him and went to sleep. To be awakened at 2:30 with the announcement that Laurel was throwing up. And was she ever. All over her hair, the sheets, the bedskirt, the box spring, the floor and the rug (especially the fringe - wasn't that ever fun). So cleaning up ensued, meanwhile Bob was holding Laurel who threw up twice more. And here we are at 3:45 AM, my back is spasming after all that scrubbing following a couple of days of working on Mom's house, I'm soaking Laurel's bedclothes in Oxyclean, and Bob is downstairs with Laurel because he's terrified to put her back to bed for fear she'll throw up again. I can see my plans to go hiking tomorrow - well, later today - flying out the window (it's my last day of bereavement leave). This has surely got to be one of the levels of hell...
I'm starting to feel coherent again...
Today is actually my first day back at work (and I
didn't get here till 2). And Laurel finally mostly slept through the
night last night, although I think that may have been partly because she
got the vomiting over early at 10 PM. 
Quick rundown of the last few days-
Tuesday we did go hiking, even though we were way short of sleep. It was
a good hike and I needed it. Although we ended up underestimating how
long it would take to get back and were late for the babysitter, who
needed to get to her EMT class, so we were stressing about that. Laurel
did fine all day. Another idiot surfaced on Freecycle (this one's issue
was that I wouldn't let him post for all the free farm animals he
wanted...why are they all coming out of the woodwork NOW?).
At 3 AM Wednesday, Laurel threw up again. Same deal with a couple of
rounds of dry heaves afterwards. I had a dentist check-up at 9 AM. Got
home to find out that the babysitter had called off because she had the
bug too. That meant that I got to go to Laurel's pre-kindergarten IEP
meeting by myself. All things considered (one of me and 12 of them) it
went OK. They are getting really frustrated with Laurel's inconsistency
at using switches, but I was relieved that they aren't ready to give up
on her yet. The actual IEP meeting is in a little less than three weeks,
so we'll see what we get. I was wiped after nearly two hours of meeting
and little sleep for two nights in a row, and took a nap after I got
home. Then actually did a couple of useful things around the house. Then
Laurel threw up and dashed our hopes of sending her to school again. But
at least then she mostly slept (I remember getting up once when I heard
her coughing, but she was OK).
Today the babysitter wanted off anyway to escort her ADHD daughter on
her class field trip to the National Zoo, so I don't know how she's
doing - I hope she made it. I stayed home with Laurel in the morning and
came in at 2:00, and am hanging out waiting for a 7 PM meeting. I
thought I'd take a break from catching up on e-mail to catch up with you
all.
I'm starting
to find the energy to catch up with other things, too - I made our hotel
reservations last night for Laurel's therapy this weekend (assuming she
stops throwing up! If she does it any more, she's going to the doctor)
and e-mailed some questions to our adoption dossier consultant today (I
have this horrible feeling we're going to have to get some forms done
over because the notarization isn't perfect). I still feel overwhelmed
but not quite as overwhelmed. Although not too convinced that I
should believe Tuesday night's fortune cookie about my troubles being
over and brighter days or smooth sailing or somesuch ahead. Anyway, I'm
doing better than I was when I last posted in the middle of the night...
Moving along here in adoption land...
We had our last office visit for the homestudy
on Monday. No more trips to Richmond! We set the home visit for June 2
since I'll be in Pittsburgh next week, wanted some time to clean and
regroup, and then with Memorial Day and the Virginia Natural Resources
Leadership Institute there were a lot of problems scheduling for the
following week. It's unfortunately the day after Bob's birthday (so we
might end up spending his birthday cleaning), but like I told him,
Friday night we can celebrate his birthday and the end of the
homestudy.
I also got my passport today! It was so cool to hold it and think that
I'd next be using it to get our daughter. I also went to Kinko's and got
the extra passport pictures I needed (I forget why, but we're supposed
to have bunches of them) and made photocopies of stuff we're about to
send off for our dossier (for the homestudy people and our records). And
set up a FedEx account in preparation for sending off the dossier stuff.
As I e-mailed Bob (who is in West Virginia today), a fine day for
dossier progress. 
I wish I were having anywhere near this much energy at work right now!
It seems like work is where I most notice the cloud over my head called
"trip to Pittsburgh on Friday." I am so dreading this; it's
going to be painful on all sorts of levels (my back still hasn't
recovered from the last trip). I'm especially dreading the trip back,
keeping in mind how much I cried last time and that this time I'm going
to be by myself and having to drive. I've had an enormous headache the
last couple of days and I don't see it getting any better.
Also, at the moment, I'm noticing I'm feeling sick to my stomach - I
hope it's just lunch disagreeing with me and not what Laurel had!
(Meanwhile Laurel, poor kid, has now come down with a cold.)
OK, well, I should post this and close the window before someone walks
by and notices I'm not working.
Hoo boy, I hope my stomach settles down...
[Posted by Bob]
Can someone please remove the curse on our babysitter(s)?
Okay, so this one hasn't quit - which is probably what your first thought was when you saw the title of this post.
She called me at work, in tears, at about 3:15 this afternoon. She tripped over the cat as she was walking up the stairs and fell backwards, on her back/butt about 4 stairs. She was in a LOT of pain so I naturally rushed home. On the way home, I started to worry about liability and whether I'd have to contact our insurance company.
Her husband came to get her and he raised the issue of workers comp and homeowner's policy (through her - so that was what she asked about when she got home - great). She has seen her doctor at this point and he thinks she's bruised her back and he's got her off her feet and resting for the rest of week and she has some high-octane pain relief.
So, hopefully she'll get good and rested and be all ready to work on Monday and we won't have to cross into liability issues (I paid her for the rest of the week - we give her some sick days).
So, positive thoughts and prayers for the sitter. I'm a single parent this week because Rochelle is up in Pittsburgh dismantling her mom's house (her sister is also there) and, naturally, I have a horrible sore throat and achy neck. So I could use some positive thoughts. And while you're emitting all those good vibes, send some at Rochelle. She's doing okay, but there's a lot of activity right now and I expect leaving the house on Thursday is going to be rough.
Thanks. I mostly just needed to whine.
Help, I have totally lost all energy and momentum...there is still SO
much to do before the home study visit a week from Friday, and I just
feel like I can't take another step. I was trying to justify to Bob last
night why I didn't do anything when I came home early after Laurel's IEP
meeting yesterday (the meeting mostly went well, although Laurel won't
be going to summer school this year
) - I really need to post a Laurel update too, but right now I need to
whine) and I said I was tired, and he said, "You're always
tired." No kidding. I just can't explain how difficult last week
was - 12-hour days spent hauling my parents' and grandparents' stuff
outside to get soaked in the rain, arranging for buyers to come pick
through the more valuable stuff, making snap decisions (SO not my forte)
on paint, vinyl, carpeting to cover over or replace everything my
parents did, digging up (and was THAT ever hard - I just did not bargain
for all the giant roots running through the yard) an ark of plants from
my mother's garden to plant in my own, and so many other odds-and-ends.
By the time I got home I was so tired that I felt ill, and I feel like
I'm only slowly getting better. But at the same time that I'm feeling
less physically tired, I feel like the harder I prod myself to go on,
the more emotionally tired I get. I KNOW it's all for a great cause and
the worst will be over in a week and a half, but I just feel myself
rebelling anyway. It's also not "just" the essays and cleaning
for the homestudy, but also still a bunch of odds-and-ends to do for the
dossier (among other things, I get to call the VA State Police and try
to explain to them why a notary expiration of 11/06 is not good enough
[even though I don't understand it myself] and ask them please, please,
could they find a notary with a later expiration date and redo the
criminal background check forms?), Virginia Natural Resources Leadership
Institute homework to do (the last session starts next Wednesday), Bob's
birthday (next Thursday) to shop for, and a whole mess of seedlings on
the back deck that really really need to be planted. I just desperately
need some time and space to myself, and it's not happening. Or even just
something fun in my life. I had gotten a flyer through Laurel's school,
last night was supposed to be a girls' night out for moms of special
needs kids, but I didn't go because it was the babysitter's first day
back after hurting her back falling down our stairs last week and I
didn't want to ask her to stay late (and Tuesday is Bob's quartet
night).
OK, well, I need to do something productive at work, like attempt to understand and write up the changes in the North Anna nuclear power plant Early Site Permit Application since the last go-round for our commission. Then there is a reimbursement request for one of my projects, unearthing my desk, and oh yeah, I just discovered that my boss is expecting me to have a grant proposal written by next Thursday. No getting off the merry-go-round for me!
Thanks for listening to my whine...carrot cake with plenty of frosting if you've made it this far!
UGGGHHHH, having *another* of those days...
This morning when the babysitter showed up for
her check, she told Bob that she hadn't passed her EMT test (which she
took last Saturday) because of hurting her back tripping over our cat on
our stairs and that she had gotten an eviction notice for not paying her
rent. So after she collects her check, which included pay for today, she
calls to say that her aunt has offered to lend her the money for rent
but she has to drive up to Maryland this afternoon to get it (after
interviewing with the school - she is interviewing for one of the aide
positions for Laurel for next year). So now Bob is taking care of Laurel
instead of cleaning. Laurel is in a miserable mood, and Bob is cursing
me for scheduling the carpet cleaning for today. And now the alarm
service that my parents had that we still have on the house in
Pittsburgh (and will until we sell it) has called to say that the fire
alarm went off at the house - not the burglar alarm, that would be no
biggie - it's been set off several times in the last two weeks by
contractors who misunderstood the directions for turning it off - but
the fire alarm. The police are going out (why not the fire department,
she idly wonders) and here I sit waiting and wondering. AGGHHH. Bob is I
think meanwhile annoyed that I'm not coming home RIGHT NOW, but darn it,
I'm already four hours behind at work this week, and desperately overdue
to get my hair cut & colored, which is scheduled for 6. (No luck on
the Laurel haircut front - turns out Plan B [Laurel's aide at school;
Plan A, Laurel's usual hair stylist, has cut her hours way back and
isn't available until the second Tuesday after forever] has gone out of
the professional hair styling business completely; I'm going to ask my
hair stylist tonight if she has any suggestions.)
Anyway... 
Well, at least I know the house is OK...Bob
managed to find the number for the painter, and I called him and it
turns out that the keypad for the alarm system was covered over with
plastic and his assistant sprayed over it, not realizing what it was,
and apparently the pressure set something off. So all is OK on that
front, although Bob and Laurel both seem to be getting crankier by the
minute. 