Back from PA and my job interview...
I am trying SO hard to stay calm! I'm really having a tough time not
reliving the interview over and over and going through all the things I
should have said. It really didn't go *that* badly, I don't think - I
managed to smile and make eye contact and chit-chat when needed - but
there were some questions I wish I'd had better answers for. I found out
they're hiring for two positions, though, so that increases my chances. 
(There were six people interviewed.)
Pittsburgh was frustrating! I don't feel like I made any headway with Mom. Didn't talk her into moving, didn't talk her into doing something about her car (still sitting at the bottom of the driveway with three flat tires), didn't talk her into getting her hearing checked, couldn't even talk her into letting me pull the weeds out of the front garden ("But they're blooming right now!" [there are goldenrod and asters, among other things, and yeah they're kinda pretty, but they're not doing anything for the derelict appearance of the house...]). Meanwhile both Laurel and I came down with a cold! We *did* manage to get out and go to the aviary on Sunday, anyway. Laurel definitely thought the coolest thing was the parrot that said "hello"! She had been having such a meltdown that we were about to leave, but that just stopped her right in her tracks and we were able to stay a while longer.
Despite the cold, I dosed myself up thoroughly with Cold-Eeze this morning and managed to make it through my interview with nary a sniffle. Although my sharp-wittedness probably took a hit with the lack of sleep I got because I couldn't get my nose to stop running last night.
I'd be more than ready to relax (as much as I can while waiting to hear if I got the job) and take it easy for a bit now if my ILs weren't coming in two days! And we're supposed to tape Laurel's program for review. Although I think I may see if I can put that off a week or two...with as little sleep as we've all been getting, I'm afraid we haven't gotten much done with it.
Meanwhile, must....zzzz...get....zzzzzz....some....zzzz.....work...zzzzzzzz....done...........
Mostly I do a lot better than I used to, but I've been feeling ground down lately.
To begin with, yesterday I got my official form letter that I didn't get the job. At this point I'm not surprised, since they had said they were going to call people two weeks ago, but a little part of me was still holding out till the fat lady sang. La, la.
Meanwhile, it's been a month and a half since Laurel slept well and about a month since she seemed to even feel good during the day. We finally figured out what part of the sleeping problem was when we missed a dose of Prilosec (which is something that has happened before with no obvious effect) and she was screaming so badly that we took her into the doctor wondering if she had an ear infection (since she did have a cold at the beginning of the month that seems to be taking forever to totally clear out). The doc had to conclude that reflux has again reared its ugly head. We've upped her dose of Prilosec and she's sleeping better than she has in a long time - which still means waking up miserable once or twice a night! I am starting to wonder if the cold went into a sinus infection because she still seems gunky, especially when she wakes up.
Also, the doc suggested trying switching her to Benefiber from Miralax. That seemed like it was going OK at first but about time we got to Ocean City, MD, for a long weekend this past weekend, it turned out to be a terrible mistake. She was miserable with gas and constipation for most of the trip. She felt better for a few hours after a Babylax, but it didn't take long for the gas to come back. We got out and did a few things (only a couple of them with her being reasonably happy) but mostly we spent a lot of the trip being glad we had spent the money for an oceanfront room because at least we could *see* the ocean. We promptly put her back on Miralax when we got home, but now we think we're going to have to do a round of hydrocortisone suppositories because it seems to be hurting every time she tries to have a BM.
Yesterday we saw the nurse practitioner (seems like we hardly ever see the neurologist any more) for a follow-up about Laurel's seizures. The head jerks have been better since we upped her seizure med but she's still having some. Also, both Bob and I have seen other things that have worried us that they might be seizures. Night before last, I had her looking for rubber fish in a tub of dried macaroni and her right arm started extending every 10 seconds or so. She was clearly aware that it was going on but couldn't get it to stop - she tried both grabbing my hand and leaning on her arm, but neither worked (points to her for trying, though!). Since she was aware while it was happening, if it was a seizure it was a partial one, but it's still worrying. Anyway, the upshot of our visit yesterday (which BTW Laurel was hysterical during for some reason and Bob ended up having to carry her out while I finished the conversation with the nurse practitioner) is that we are going to try upping her dose to 5 ml 3x a day (instead of 4 ml 2x a day and 5 ml 1x a day as it is right now). Then she'll have to have blood work done in a week to ten days. (It'll probably be closer to ten days so I don't have to do it while Bob's gone - he's going to be gone for three days next week! WAHHH!) If the seizures don't go away with this and her blood level is high, then the NP was talking about adding another med, although Bob and I discussed it and we're just not convinced it's worth it. Even the docs at the hospital had sounded as though they thought it was questionable how much she should be medicated to try to control these seizures.
On the mother front, my sister has talked her into coming down here for Thanksgiving (Marie will fly into Pittsburgh and drive her here). Our ulterior motive is to get her to look at some places to live while she's here, although we haven't told her that yet. We figure she might be more likely to move somewhere if she actually sees it and we've concluded there's no way we're going to get her out to California. She sounds like she might be a little more amenable to moving here, although she's worried that she'll burden me. Well, I'm a little worried too, but frankly she's a big burden on my mind being where she is and I'd rather have her here than there. When Marie talked to her, she sounded like she'd forgotten that either Marie or I knew about the flat tires on her car (even though we've both visited since then). Cross your fingers that we manage to pull this one off!
In other news, I've been having a lot of tailbone pain lately. I went to have it checked out and the doc said that the joint is inflamed. No idea why, this just sometimes happens with "women of a certain age" (ugh). I was given a choice of taking Celebrex till my IUI or getting a cortisone shot. I opted for the Celebrex (partly because I know another doctor who uses a higher grade of cortisone that doesn't hurt quite so darn much) but I'm still in a lot of pain. It would probably help some if I were better at remembering to sit on the funky pillow, but still, I'm thinking if this cycle goes bust (I'll know in a couple of days) I'll make an appt for a cortisone shot. (The doc said they don't like to do cortisone shots during the first trimester...so if I *do* by some miracle get a BFP and it's still bothering me at the end of the first trimester I'll probably still go ahead and get the shot. I hate to think about having this while being heavily pregnant!)
Anyway, I'm just feeling worn out - tired and sore and worried, and when Laurel feels bad she doesn't interact well so that's discouraging too, especially when it's been going on for a long time like this. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest...