I just had to share this little note we got from school -
"Laurel has really been happy at school this year. When she does
get upset she calms herself much quicker. I'm proud of her!" 
Jen H. asked me how the babysitter situation was and I realized geez, I never posted. This has been the most insane month!
We've actually had a babysitter since Labor Day. I think she's working out, although like some of the others I'm getting annoyed at the lack of oral feeding she's doing. I'm going to have to have a sit-down with that girl. I'm also getting tired of finding the little white box on Internet Explorer full of URLs that I know we don't visit (Women's tarot? Astrology? Yesterday it was a bunch of jewelry stores...), and I sure hope she's doing that while Laurel's napping. But Laurel seems to like her, and I've watched her with Laurel and they look like they have fun together.
NOW I'm beating my head against the wall of trying to get a service set up for Mom to do her shopping/take her to appts/do some housekeeping. It's close to crisis level -the neighbor that was doing Mom's shopping moved out last weekend, and Mom has a mammogram on Tuesday and a follow-up hearing aid appt a week from Tuesday (We were up there Sat-Mon, and I finally dragged her to the first appt on Monday). I had set up interviews with two services on Monday. One was supposed to be the actual person who would be working with her and she was a no-show, and the other was the service owner and he was right on time, but first he was supposed to call Mom back on Tuesday and didn't and then he was supposed to call me back on Wednesday and didn't. Meanwhile I've been at the Virginia Natural Resources Leadership Institute (a set of six 3-day workshops between now and June on leadership training, conflict resolution, and current environmental issues in VA) at a mountain lodge which has NO cell phone service, so that's making dogging his butt challenging. I'm going to take his number with me (I'm commuting to this one - it's only about 40 min away - some of the other sessions I'll have to stay overnight for), try to get my paws on the one pay phone, and give him one last chance today. Else I'm calling the other service back and asking them if they have anyone else they can send. ARGH.
So that's some of what's going on here...
I feel like my head is just going to explode...
I've had so many different worries on my mind lately. The latest
straw in my camel's stack is that the PT who was doing Feldenkrais with
Laurel today (we took her up for her first "intensive" session
this weekend) made a comment about breast development. We sort of blew
it off but looked tonight and yup, she is right - there is definitely
something going on with Laurel's left breast. I just sent an e-mail to
her pediatrician...I suppose we're going to have to go back to the
endocrinologist. I'm worried it's the soy formula.
I've also been worried because Laurel's seizures have been worse lately.
They started to come back in San Francisco (the partial ones like she
was having the last round) and now she is even having some in the
evening (she was originally just having them when she woke up in the
morning). We already upped her meds some more - we saw the neuro's
assistant Sept 1 and discussed it with her then, and agreed to give
Laurel 6 ml at bedtime instead of 5 - but they've gotten worse in spite
of that. We're going to get her blood level taken tomorrow, but if it's
OK I know the assistant will want to talk about putting Laurel on a
second drug - which will mean a whole new set of side effects to worry
about.
Then, the service I was trying to line up for my mom finally called her
but she blew them off saying that she wasn't "feeling up to
it." She is supposedly scheduled to have them out tomorrow, but my
sister and I are dubious and talked both last night and tonight about
strategy. Marie is close to giving an ultimatum (that she won't visit if
Mom is just going to keep leaving everything up to us to do when we get
there) and I'm mostly behind that but hoping to heck it isn't going to
come to that.
To top it all off, our last-ditch IUI started off REALLY well this last
cycle, really getting our hopes up with five follicles, but still no BFP.
Our insurance will pay for one IVF and if that doesn't work (and it only
has a 10-20% chance of working at my age) then I guess that's it.
Add in all the other miscellanea this month, from hiring a new
babysitter (BTW, Jennifer, thanks so much for the idea about checking
her internet usage - it looks like although she hits lots of sites she
does it really quickly, maybe 10-15 minutes total - I can live with
that) to having my in-laws visit to a major meltdown on the Freecycle
group I moderate to all the homework I had to do for the VA Natural
Resources Leadership thingie, and I just feel like I hit a brick wall.
I'd take a mental health day tomorrow, except that I was out of the
office for four days last week (one in Pittsburgh, the other three at
VNRLI), and I only have two sick days and I'll need them for the IVF. We
did finally have our Cerebral Palsy of VA respite weekend (just
an overnight this year) come through and we're taking it next weekend,
but I'm feeling like it'll be a real stretch to make it that far. I am
SO not feeling ready to go in to work tomorrow and deal with what I
missed last week...not to mention that I'm getting a cortisone shot in
my tailbone at 8:40 AM, won't that be fun... 
A piece of good news...the service I was trying to line up for Mom
called yesterday and said that she had scheduled them to take her to two
appts! A mammogram today and the follow-up appt for the audiologist next
Tuesday. I called my sister last night and asked, "What on earth
did you say to her?", since I knew she'd called Mom Sunday night.
But Marie says she just tried to impress upon Mom how important it was,
and I think she was pushing the cleaning/shopping idea more than the
appts. Anyway, somehow Mom decided to get on board. I'm
cautiously hoping, will call Mom tonight to see if she actually went to
the mammogram.
In other news, I wound up not going to work yesterday. I got back from
the cortisone shot and just didn't feel like I could face it. So I
called work and said I was in too much pain from the shot (not that
far off the truth) and completely passed out for a couple of hours. I
didn't even hear the cat throwing up on the bed, which isn't like me at
all. So, after I ate lunch and showered I took the comforter to the
laundromat (it's too big for our washer/dryer) - not a thrilling day
off, but I think I desperately needed the sleep (I haven't had much
lately, between having to get up at 5:30 to go to VNRLI and Laurel
sleeping badly because we decided to take her off her antihistamine to
see if that would affect the seizures any). I don't feel happy
today, but I feel more up to dealing with things.
Yesterday morning it seemed like Laurel was doing better seizure-wise
and we were hopeful about the antihistamine-seizure connection (although
this antihistamine was prescribed because it's particularly good that
way, depression of the seizure threshold is a known problem with many
types of antihistamines). But this morning she was doing as badly as
ever. Hopefully we will hear from the neuro's assistant today. I also
haven't heard back from the pediatrician yet - I'll give her till
tomorrow morning, then call her office.
So that's the news. At least one thing might be turning the right way
and I've had some sleep, so it's a start.
So we went to the pediatrician today...she said that there is some
chance that the breast development on Laurel's left side (which she
agreed was there) might be related to her seizure med, or it might be
related to her brain injury. Or, it might just be a random thing that
sometimes happens to girls Laurel's age, and go away. She said she has
seen this a number of times. Since Laurel is not showing any other signs
of developing secondary sexual characteristics, she didn't think there
was cause for panic. She is going to find out if there's any chance she
can get some endocrine work added on to the blood sample that was taken
on Monday; otherwise, she thought the thing to do was wait a month, do a
re-exam (she took measurements today), and do the blood work at that
time. She's also going to talk both to Laurel's former endocrinologist
(the one we saw for her cortisol problem) and the neuro's assistant. I
don't think I'll feel totally relieved until the issue is resolved, but
I'm feeling somewhat reassured.
While we were at it, we got Laurel's flu shot (which she was an absolute
trouper for) and talked to the ped about the antihistamine we'd been
giving Laurel, which the prescription is running out on (it originally
came from my allergist, who I've taken Laurel to see a couple of times).
She decided rather than continuing with that antihistamine, to try
giving Laurel Rhinocort. Laurel probably won't be thrilled about doing a
nasal spray, but I'm mostly happy about this idea because since the
antihistamine makes her sleepy we can only give it to her at night -
Rhinocort will make her feel better around the clock. It's been a wonder
drug for me, that's for sure.
So that's the latest...when I know anything more I'll let you know!
A little more news...
We found out that Laurel's seizure med (Depakote) blood level was
117, where 50-100 is therapeutic. Over 100 is OK and some kids actually
need that, but the point here is that upping her dose of Depakote is not
likely to be helpful. Her ped finally got in touch with someone from the
neuro's office - turns out both Laurel's neuro and his assistant have
been in CA all week, so she talked to a different neuro. He said what I
expected, that we will need to add a second med, but he prefers to let
her regular doctor/assistant handle that, which I understand. He also
said he thought it was unlikely that the breast bud was due to the
Depakote, that it was very unlikely that it was due to the soy
formula, and that it is probably not a sign of early puberty, but just a
random thing that sometimes happens. Anyway, the assistant will be back
in the office on Monday, so we should know more next week about where
we're going with the medication. And the ped is still waiting for a call
back from the endocrinologist.
In mother news, I had an incredibly embarrassing talk with the owner of
the service today. Turns out that the woman who took Mom to her appt on
Tuesday was really put off by the odor of both the cat box and Mom. So
although she was the one that the service had planned to have do the
shopping and cleaning on Mondays, she will not be coming back. They are
trying to find someone else. The cat box is, of course, part of the
reason we want someone to come in the first place (although part of me
wonders how bad it really could have been after just over a week?), but
I have no idea how to approach Mom with the idea that she really needs
to take a shower more often (and it's true, actually - she has dust
bunnies in her shower, fer cryin' out loud). I'll call my sister to
discuss tonight. Meanwhile, I'm dying of embarrassment here wondering if
the service can come up with someone whose sensitivity is sufficiently
low to deal with my mom... 