Updates on Laurel: December 2001

[This was written in response to the question, "Please introduce yourself to us." As "Mother-of-the-Week" on the board that week, I answered a large number of questions, most of which I'm not going to reproduce here. But I thought the answers to this one and the next one might be of interest.]

Hi, my name is Rochelle, and I'm 37 years old. I was born in St. Paul, MN, raised near Pittsburgh, PA, and moved to Virginia one month after marrying my husband, Bob, in 1990. After dithering for years about whether and when we wanted kids, in late 1999 we decided to go for it, and conceived within a few months. Our daughter, Laurel, was born in November 2000, and the news that she had brain damage was the biggest shock we've ever had. Much of our lives since then have been about coming to terms with that, adjusting to deal with the extra care she has needed as a result, and trying to find any way to help her that we can. We both agree that we would like another child, but are not sure about going forward with that until we find our equilibrium with Laurel.

I have been working part-time since about 2 1/2 months after Laurel was born. I have a bachelor's degree in Chemistry and a master's degree in Environmental Science, and I have worked since six months after getting my master's in 1994 at a regional government agency, starting out as an intern until I have now reached the lofty title of "Senior Planner - Environment." :-) However, it's really a full-time job, and although my boss has been wonderfully understanding, she also retired on Friday. I just don't feel like this is sustainable, anyway, so am wondering what else I'd like to be when I grow up. I enjoy working, find it gives me something else to think about besides Laurel's problems, and I'm not sure we could keep our house if I didn't (especially with all of Laurel's expenses), so being a SAHM is not something I'm really considering, even though I feel rather guilty about that.

I don't have a lot of spare time these days, but when I do have some, I enjoy hiking, gardening, photography, crafts, genealogy, model horse showing, and reading science fiction and fantasy. And I LOVE to travel!

OK, well, that was probably more than I'd tell an *actual* stranger, LOL! I will get to the other questions later, b/c when I started this Laurel was napping (on Mondays I stay home with her) but she's awake now and being very hard to type around!

Well, the folks that guessed "heating element" on our water heater were right! We chickened out of fixing it ourselves (partly b/c we didn't know which circuit it was on - now that I think of it, wish I'd been paying better attention just now!) and they just got done fixing it. Yayyyy, hot water!

[This was written in response to the question, "What is a normal week like in your house?"]

This turned into a book as only I can write 'em - but I thought some people might be curious about what it's like.

On Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays, Laurel goes to the babysitter. I try to roll out of bed about 7 AM; how successful I am with that has a lot to do with what time I got to bed the night before and how long it's been since the last time Bob took an 11 PM feeding. Usually on either Tuesday or Wednesday morning, Laurel goes for massage/craniosacral therapy. Otherwise, she's *supposed* to be at the babysitter's at 9 AM, but I couldn't tell you the last time that actually happened. She's not been very consistent about taking her morning nap lately, so that's been making it hard (and like I said, if you put her down she usually shrieks after a short while - we sometimes just have no choice but to let her shriek anyway, but she can keep on at it for a very long time and I guess we're just not good enough at CIO). We pick her up around 5:30 PM (we're better about that than the dropping-off) and on Wednesdays and Fridays, we usually go over to the gym (I know, that's not a very good spread of days, but those are definitely the easiest). On Tuesdays, Bob often plays in a string quartet from 5 - 7 PM, so I usually drop her off/pick her up myself. Evenings are some combination of feedings and TV and "hanging out" with Laurel and trying to get done all the little assorted things that need to get done, keeping in mind that someone pretty much always has to be holding the baby. Thursdays, Bob stays home with Laurel so when I come home she's MY baby. Laurel's physical therapist comes Thursday afternoons, and that's been happening more consistently than the feeding therapist (I guess her car works better, LOL).

On weekends, hopefully Laurel takes her morning nap, and Bob goes back to sleep after the 7 AM feeding. I usually get up around 9 and do the 11 AM feeding (unless I took the 7 AM feeding), then after lunch we go out and do a little shopping or something if Laurel seems like she might be up for it. Sometimes we bring the 3 PM feeding with us and brave the weird looks. Because our church's late service is at 11:15 AM, and we need our sleep too badly to go to the early service, we haven't been getting to church much lately. With the class I've been taking, I've been ending up having to spend most of about every third weekend working on class projects - I'm so glad that's almost over! We don't do too much for entertainment these days except shop, go out to dinner (with Laurel), occasionally go to an event at church, and watch TV.

Sorry that went so long! But I know our lives are different from those with a "normal" one-year-old, so I thought you might be curious...

Laurel news:

Meanwhile, we're up to 4 scoops per 3 ounces, and I'm a little concerned because Laurel seems more uncomfortable again. I hope she evens back out. Last week she was great! She made progress on sitting for the first time in months, and now can balance herself by holding our hands. She actually managed to entertain herself with toys for the first time in ages (we used to be able to put her under her Gymini and she'd be happy, but several months ago she started having panic attacks when put on her back and we haven't found anything else that seemed to amuse her). She put her arms around the big furry red ball that the therapist from the Dept. of the Blind and Visually Impaired brought her and sucked on its fur, and she entertained herself for probably close to half an hour in her bouncy seat by trying to get some dangling toys in her mouth. She is much more interested in putting things in her mouth now! She even put her finger in her mouth and sucked on it. This sounds like a strange thing to be happy about, but when you're dealing with a kid who has had an oral aversion, it's HUGE. Now if we could just get her as interested in food!

So that's the news from our corner - just thought it was time for an update!

I forgot to put, in my "Laurel news" the other day, one of her biggest accomplishments of all! When we ask her "Where's Mommy?" and "Where's Daddy?", she has been doing much better with looking, and at the correct person, too! Even though both of us are usually asking her.

Also, it seems that (I'm scared to say anything for fear of jinxing it!) she is finally doing consistently well in her exersaucer. We're VERY excited about this b/c for months now, we've pretty much had to hold her all the time except for when she was sleeping! (Sometimes we can get a few minutes out of her in the high chair, but that's about it - she panics at being laid down on her back, hates being on her front, and as I've said, is still unable to sit independently.) She spun herself 180 degrees in it the other day, too. I'm really hoping that if she spends more time in the exersaucer she'll start to learn a little more about her own ability to move herself.

She seems to be doing mostly OK now with the concentrated formula now, too - we'll take the final step to 1.5 scoops per ounce tomorrow, while Bob's home with her.

I always feel funny posting Laurel's accomplishments, b/c they're pretty much not in the same universe as the other babies on this board. But we have to take what we can get!

Well, I might as well have saved myself an hour and poured that bottle of formula on the floor. I think tomorrow is too soon to go up on the concentration again...sigh...and now I'm all wound up from the major clean-up job I just finished. But I guess I better get to bed, we have to get up bright and early to get Laurel in for her polio and the second half of her flu vaccinations (she got her chicken pox vaccine, and the first half of the flu vaccine, at her one-year checkup). Ugh.

Woo-hoo, I got an "A" in my internet-based Web Design II class! SO glad that's over!

Wish me luck - I'm very nervous! Today the top candidate for executive director of our agency is coming for a second look. (He's said to be 90% likely to take the job, and our commission is said to be 100% wanting to hire him.) There's a half hour scheduled this afternoon for me to go over our environmental programs with him, and I figure I had better spring on him that I work part-time, and why. Obviously, I want to do this with some dignity, not with a big sob-sister approach - but my position is *supposed* to be full-time, so I think I'll have to explain why it isn't. But our staff met the top five candidates, and this guy struck us as the least sympathetic of the whole lot. So I'm very nervous - please pray that this goes smoothly and he is understanding! And I think I could use a few calming vibes...

Thanks, everybody! I guess it went as well as could be expected. It turns out that someone had already clued him in about my working part-time before he got to me (he had meetings with our ex-director and our assistant directors this morning). I started to lead into the topic by saying something about not having that much time and he said, "You work part-time" and so I said, "Oh good, I'm glad someone told you that already." And didn't go into it any further. So I have no idea what he knows about my reasons, but at least he stated it as a fait accompli. I'm *still* very nervous about this guy, because I got the impression that he may expect me to do more than I have time to do. I felt pretty on-the-spot during the discussion, but I think I mostly handled it well and didn't act too nervous. Thanks for the calming vibes, I think they helped! :-) I guess we'll just see what the future brings...

So, our poor little girl has a cold AND she's finally cutting her first two teeth (I know, we keep saying she's teething and saying she's teething, but this time there's white showing on both her bottom middle teeth) AND she's still struggling with the increase in her formula concentration (throwing up about every other day, and suffering again with constipation). And to top it off, the last few days she has had a cluster of seizures about once a day. We haven't called the neurologist yet, b/c this happened a couple of months ago and they went away again after a week or so. She just recently had a blood test, so we know the blood level of her seizure medication is still the same. We don't want to raise her dose if we don't have to, b/c it makes her less alert. But of course, we're worried. I'd really appreciate prayers that they go away again, and that she feels better soon! Thanks...

Thanks for your get-well wishes for Laurel - I think she's starting to feel better, but now Bob and I are sick!

These teeth are taking FOREVER to finish coming through! She is also draining big-time from her cold (actually, we all are - Bob and I got it after she did, but it seems to be taking a shorter course for us and we're all at about the same place now - I'm sure we'll all be feeling MUCH better in a day or two, but right now, BLEAH!) and we have momentarily given up on the concentrated formula b/c she was up to throwing up three times a day. We're not sure how much of that was due to the cold and/or teething, so we'll try again when she's feeling better, but for now it seemed that we should make it as easy on her tummy as possible (we made this decision on our own, but the doc agreed with us when we did finally talk to her). I know better times are on the way, but it's sure been a rough week!

We took Laurel to the doc this AM to make sure her cold wasn't turning into an ear infection, before we leave. Not only did her ears look A-OK, she was up TWO POUNDS from her one-year check-up! She weighed in at 19 lbs 5 oz today (although she was dressed this time, unlike last - but what she was wearing was pretty light). If you remember, her doc was worried b/c she'd dropped to the 5th percentile (she's always been around the 25th). Now she's back between the 10th and 25th. The doc was thrilled to bits and said we shouldn't worry about feeding her the concentrated formula over the holidays (we stopped on Thursday b/c she was throwing up 3 times a day - we weren't sure if it was the cold or the formula, but we wanted to do what we could to stop it!).

We'll hopefully be leaving in a couple of hours for Pittsburgh (then flying to Minnesota tomorrow - then we'll spend more time in Pittsburgh on the way back), so have a great rest of the weekend, everybody!

Happy Holidays to everyone from Rochelle, Bob & Laurel, usually in VA but this week in St. Paul, MN!